ti-dingz Blog
Loneliness
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Psalm. 25:16, NIV
It is debilitating to be in the place of pain, suffering, or affliction, but when you couple this with loneliness, the world is a bleak place.
We were never created to live alone; we were made for community. When we are cut off from the company of others, it limits the recovery of our soul, and although we often struggle in our relationships with one another, we ultimately thrive physically and emotionally when we live among people who genuinely care about our well-being.
Loneliness is one of the most tragic stories of life
As a hospital chaplain, I often visited the lonely and the sick. On one occasion I came across an elderly gentleman. He was lying alone in a single room looking up at the ceiling.
I told him I was the chaplain and had just dropped in to say hello and see how his day was going. He motioned for me to sit down.
As we chatted, I began to sense the great loneliness that he had experienced throughout his life.
He was now in his eighties and as a young man had gone off to war. On his return he found that both his parents had died and that he did not have one living relative in the world.
He continued to live the next sixty-plus years alone. Although he had desired a wife, he was shy and never married. If this was not heartbreaking enough, what he quietly whispered next was crushing.
He said, with tears welling in his eyes, “I have lived a lonely life, but harder still to bear now, is to die alone.”
We chatted for a long while and talked about God’s love and how He is always present with us and how He has promised that He will never leave us. He is our constant companion.
I said he could talk with God anytime he liked because God is listening. I stayed and prayed for him, and we chatted but having to leave I promised to return.
When I arrived the next time, Frank’s room was empty. I asked the nurse where he was in the hope he had been moved, but Frank had died. He had died physically alone, yet I knew he had reached out to God, and he would never be alone again. His eternal home was with his Heavenly Father.
Read Jesus’ words below
“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going.”
John 4:1-4, NLT
There are lonely people everywhere
Some lonely people are hidden behind closed doors. Still, you will find them standing next to you in a busy shopping centre or sitting beside you on a crowded bus.
They can be those people we come across regularly but never connect with. Even within our churches there are lonely people, waiting to be included, or invited.
People are isolated and lonely for many reasons. Sometimes it is because they have experienced things in life that they just don’t want others to know about. They feel odd, so they keep to themselves, all the while longing for companionship.
Other times physical or mental difficulties can cause people to be isolated or ostracised. Sometimes it is simply because in searching, they have just not been able to find where they belong.
For still others there is a genuine difficulty which stems from a lack of awareness of social and cultural norms.
When we are lonely, we gravitate to those people whom we feel will accept us and, in some way, understand us.
People gravitated to Jesus en masse
If you study the gospels, you will find that Jesus was never angry with the outcast.
It was the religious who annoyed Him because they were His representatives in the world, yet they failed to extend grace. They neglected the most important things of offering love, compassion, generosity, and justice to those in need.
The religious failed to bring healing and restoration; instead, they weighed the people down with vain religious activities, telling them God would be pleased if they fulfilled certain rituals or completed certain tasks for Him (Matt. 23:13–25; Luke 11:41–44).
Inevitably the people left, feeling despondent and rejected.
Jesus intimately associated Himself with lonely people, strangers, foreigners, and outcasts. He told His followers that when they served the ‘least of people’ they were doing it for Him (Matt. 25:45).
Christ drew these lonely and afflicted people. He healed them and taught them the ways of God. His deep love and concern for them was the catalyst that changed their lives.
On one occasion, Jesus was invited to a meal at a prominent religious leader’s home. He told the host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbours; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind and you will be blessed” (Luke 14:12–14 NIV).
Who are the ‘least of people’ in your world?
We may not reach out to people because we genuinely do not know how to interact with them. This could be due to feeling awkward or not wanting to blunder and offend, so we refrain.
Of course, for most of us our lack of activity is simply due to being lazy and selfish.
It is comfortable and easy to ask our friends to join us in social activities. However, a challenging and confronting question to ask ourselves is, “When was the last time I prepared a meal at my home and asked the least popular people over?”
For the majority, the answer will be ‘never’.
Let’s make a concerted effort the next time we see someone alone to ask him or her to join us – even better, invite that person to our home.
In doing so we might just alleviate the loneliness and suffering of someone who desperately wants ‘anyone’ to reach out and welcome him or her in.
If you are feeling lonely ... you are not alone
God has said that he will never leave you or forsake you, be comforted in the knowledge that He is your constant companion and very present help in times of trouble or loneliness (Deut. 31:8, Psalm 46:1, Psalm 25:16).
When you feel alone God is always available to listen to your prayers. Talk to him from your heart. He is eager to respond and walk with you through the journey of life.
Reach out and help some. You may find a friend!
Offer a gospel tract that gives hope and practically offer friendship!
Some of our Gospel tracts are specifically designed to help people who are navigating the difficulties of life. ‘What’s in your cup?’ shares about the emotions we experience and how Jesus also endured difficult times.
Share some hope and encouragement with a lonely person this week. Offering a tract is a great icebreaker for starting a conversation with a stranger and may open the door for you to invite someone into your home.
Find my helpful guide on ‘How to hand out gospel tracts’ here.
Every Blessing
Deb